


My Almost Lover

by EnchantedbookLover18



Category: NCIS
Genre: 16x05 Fragments, Angst, Ellicksongchallenge, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, missingepisodeschallenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:49:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24997867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnchantedbookLover18/pseuds/EnchantedbookLover18
Summary: "Let no one who loves be called altogether unhappy.Even love unreturned has its rainbow."- J.M. Barrie, The Little Minister
Relationships: Ellie Bishop & Nick Torres, Ellie Bishop/Nick Torres
Comments: 20
Kudos: 33
Collections: The Missing Episodes





	My Almost Lover

**Author's Note:**

> #ellicksongchallenge week 5: Song that breaks your heart (aka The Feels) --> Almost Lover by A Fine Frenzy (listen to it while reading!)
> 
> #missingepisodeschallenge prompt 5: Missing Scenes --> 16x05 Fragments

**They were still fighting over who heard ‘Yanny’ or ‘Laurel’ in the audio Ellie had played when McGee was finally done with it, and beyond annoyed. “I don’t even know why we’re even talking about this. It’s old news. Went viral months ago.”**

**Ellie raised her eyebrows and replied defensively, “Well, must’ve been when I unplugged for three days for my annual reset.”**

**“Oh, that must’ve been when I unplugged, too,” Nick added – he had to have a reason for not knowing about this before. But when he saw Ellie’s pointed look, he quickly explained. “Oh, you know, for cooler reasons in a completely different location.”**

**Unfortunately, the damage was already done. McGee looked back and forth between his two co-workers, suspicion and curiosity flashing across his face, an eyebrow raised. And Ellie – Ellie only stared at Nick, alarm, anger and…regret in her eyes.**

She sighed deeply. Again. He could’ve blown it up. Everything. Not that there was much left to spill to the others though. Still, she didn’t want their co-workers to know about it and what had happened between them on a rainy weekend a few months ago.

Standing up from her couch, Ellie shook her head at her stupidity. Why was she still so hung up about it? Until this moment today in the office, she’d thought she was finally over it. That she’d finally forgotten the pain and disaster that followed the joy. And it had seemed to work. While Nick still flirted with her and it stung every time, she realised it wasn’t meant specifically for her but just his charming, outgoing self, Ellie had just fooled herself.

When she put away the leftovers of dinner and washed the dishes, memories started crawling back into her thoughts. Memories of happy days, of laughter and stolen kisses in the rain.

_“Your fingertips across my skin_

_The palm trees swaying in the wind_

_Images_

_You sang me Spanish lullabies_

_The sweetest sadness in your eyes, clever trick”_

_“Nick, what are you doing here?” Ellie was surprised to see her co-worker on her doorstep on their weekend off._

_“Oh – um. I hope it’s okay,” he said, awkwardly scratching his head, “We have the weekend off and um, of course, you know that. Eh, McGee told me you were doing your ‘unplugged weekend’ – is that right? Something about no tech. For mental health?” Nick smiled sheepishly._

_“Yeah, that’s right. Annual unplugging for a few days for mental reset. At least I’d planned to do that – but not anymore.” The blonde sneezed. “Why? I mean what’re you doing here?”_

_“So…ehh. Well, there’s a water-pipe burst… and, um, the craftspeople are already working on it but they don’t know how long it’ll take,” Nick stuttered._

_“Oh, do you need a place to stay?” Another sneeze followed her words._

_“Yeah. I mean, no – I mean, yes? Honestly, I don’t know. They weren’t really specific,” Nick muttered. God, he felt like a complete idiot. “The thing is I’m a little bored and I thought ‘hey, B might like some unplugged company’ – ha-ha.”_

_Ellie thought a while about what he’d said, then she decided to have some fun with it. “Ohh! I see. So, you thought ‘hey Bishop’s probably boring and just sitting on her couch, reading a damn lame book, so I just go to her if nobody else –”_

_“No-No! B, I swear,” Nick held up his hands in surrender. “I came first to you of all people. You’re my number one –”_

_Nick cut himself off, his cheeks turning a dark shade of pink as he realised what his words implied. “Um, I mean…eh…I came to you first – we’re friends. And it’s me! I’m boring! Since I’ve moved back to DC permanently, I suddenly have weekends off…and, you know, I haven’t had that for a long time. Undercover work isn’t exactly known for regular working hours.”_

_Ellie chuckled in delight. He actually fell for it. But as soon as her chuckling turned into a full-on laughter, the blonde started to cough._

_“Oh, no! Ellie, you okay?” Nick asked with a comforting, warm hand on her shoulder._

_She blushed. “I’m okay. But I’m afraid you’ve come at the wrong time. While I actually had exciting plans for the weekend – fyi –” She winked at him. “I caught a cold. Now I’m truthfully just lying on the couch. But I don’t want you to get sick too.”_

_“Nonsense! It’s fine. My immune system is phenomenal.” The Latino smiled softly._

_“Well okay then. Come in.” Ellie murmured. Before she led him towards her living room, she turned around once more, “Oh, and you can stay as long as you want.”_

_“Here, lay down.” Two hours later when Nick and Ellie had watched a movie – her unplugged weekend had to be postponed – and talked a little about their families and life at home, Ellie could barely keep her eyes open. Her throat was dry, her head ached and the fever had spiked up again. “Sleep a bit,_ _cari_ _ñ_ _o_ _, your body needs it. I’ll cook us dinner in the meantime.”_

_Just as he was about to get up, chilled fingers grabbed his hand. A small, raspy voice came from the couch, “Nick, can you stay ‘til I fall asleep?”_

_A fond smile appeared on his lips. Sick Ellie was apparently also clingy Ellie – and Nick didn’t mind a bit. “Sure.”_

_He sat down next to where Ellie’s head was placed on a cosy pillow and began to tenderly stroke her hair. After a few seconds Nick started to softly sing the lullaby his_ _abuela_ _had always sung to him when he was a little boy. “_ _Pajarito que cantas/Canción de cuna/Pajarito que cantas en la laguna/No despiertes al niño que está en la cuna/Ea la nana/Ea la nana/Duérmete lucerito de la mañana/Pajarito que cantas junto a la Fuente/Cállate que mi niño no se despierte/Ea la nana/Ea la nana/Duérmete lucerito de la mañana/A la nanita nana mi niño duerme/Con los ojos abiertos como las liebres/Ea la nana/Ea la nana/Duérmete lucerito de la mañana.”_

_While Ellie was still murmuring incoherent words under her breath and stirring a little in her sleep, Nick got up again and walked towards her kitchen, preparing their dinner._

_“Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy_

_I thought you'd want the same for me”_

The next day, Ellie walked into the office still deep in thought and not watching her step, when, out of a sudden, she crashed with a strong, muscled body. “Uff,” she let out a breath. Of course, it was Nick. She could smell his unmistakably familiar scent. Sandalwood and confidence. “Sorry, Nick. I didn’t see you there,” Ellie mumbled, looking up at him, heat creeping up her neck.

“You’re fine. I’m strong.” Nick said cocky, a deep smile on his lips.

She scoffed. “Yeah. Sure, you are.” With that she walked around him but turned around quickly, “I have an appointment with Jack. See you later.”

_“Goodbye, my almost lover_

_Goodbye, my hopeless dream_

_I'm trying not to think about you_

_Can't you just let me be?_

_So long, my luckless romance_

_My back is turned on you_

_Should've known you'd bring me heartache_

_Almost lovers always do”_

On her way upstairs, Ellie took a deep breath. Why did he always have to do this? Of course he was handsome. Gorgeous, even. But he didn’t have to act like he knew and remind her all the damn time. The flirting, the teasing, _these_ smiles... _Ugh_. Nick acted as if nothing ever happened between them. Well, after all, he was the one who ended it.

_As it turned out, the craftspeople weren’t done on Friday so they had to come back the next day and Nick had to stay at Ellie’s. Not that she minded. He cooked, did the dishes because she was still too weak, played ‘boring’ boardgames with her, and sang his Spanish songs in the kitchen. Meanwhile, Nick managed to look gorgeous as hell. And he seemed content to be there with her. The blonde caught herself staring at him when he didn’t look in her direction, thinking about how domestic this all was. She could get used to this._

_“We walked along a crowded street_

_You took my hand and danced with me images_

_And when you left you kissed my lips_

_You told me you would never ever forget these images, no_

_Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy_

_I thought you'd want the same for me”_

_Nick took good care of Ellie and, luckily, she already felt better on Saturday evening. Not fully recovered but well enough to go out for dinner with him._

_Just as they left the Italian restaurant, the heavens decided to open up above them. It started pouring with rain and neither of them had thought of bringing an umbrella._

_“Oh, no! Nick!” Ellie laughed as she looked at the man next to her. “You’re already soaked.”_

_Nick chuckled. “Good thing I went to my apartment to grab clothes earlier. But we have to hurry back – you’re getting wet and I can’t risk your cold getting worse again, El.”_

_“I can barely see. I think the car is in this diection,” Ellie pointed to her left._

_Nick didn’t have to think twice, he grabbed her hand and started to run. Between laughter and walking through puddles, Ellie and Nick managed to reach his Jeep without any further disruptions._

_Still holding her hand in his, Nick turned around to face Ellie. As his eyes went up and down her body, she realised that her white blouse was fully soaked by now. She gulped as his eyes turned darker, full of joy and ..lust, and locked with hers._

_“Nick,” Ellie said breathlessly. She knew they probably shouldn’t do this but she wanted it. She wanted_ him _._

_“Ellie, you have to tell me to stop,” his vice was husky, barely above a whisper. But he stood so close to her that she could still hear it despite the rain._

_“I can’t,” Ellie whispered back, taking another step forward, pulling at his hand._

_This was all the encouragement he needed to close the remaining distance between them. Nick placed his hands on her already wet cheeks. She could see the fire burning in his eyes, the desire for her, as he took her face between his hands and pressed his lips abover hers. They stood next to his car, not even thinking about the rain that still poured down on them, exchanging hot and passionate kisses._

Throughout the whole day, Ellie thought she could still feel the taste of his lips on her skin from months ago. Hot, fiery kisses and tender strokes in the dark after they came home from the restaurant flooded her memory.

_“Goodbye, my almost lover_

_Goodbye, my hopeless dream_

_I'm trying not to think about you_

_Can't you just let me be?_

_So long, my luckless romance_

_My back is turned on you_

_Should've known you'd bring me heartache_

_Almost lovers always do”_

This was how they’d started. This was how ‘you and me’ became an ‘us’. Unfortunately, Ellie had noticed too late that Nick didn’t want the same. She’d thought that there was more between them, that they were on the same page. Even from the very beginning, from the day they’d met in the alley, Ellie holding a gun to his head, she’d felt a pull towards Nick. And then she’d spend the night with him, and the next morning. Ellie had never felt this intense having sex with a man before. Until Nick. But it wasn’t just the earth-shaking sexual activities, Ellie missed. Nick had listened to her, cared for her, loved her. But only for one weekend.

_“I cannot go to the ocean_

_I cannot drive the streets at night_

_I cannot wake up in the morning_

_Without you on my mind”_

Sunday evening, when he’d only just received the all-clear to return to his apartment, Ellie’s tiny bubble burst into a million little pieces.

_“I think I should go home now,” Nick said, coming out of her bedroom, the bag and keys in his hands. “I’ve occupied your space long enough. Besides, we have to get back to work tomorrow anyway.”_

_Ellie froze midway to the fridge, already reaching out for two beers. “Oh, okay. I thought you could stay. We usually carpool. Would be easier this way, wouldn’t it?”_

_Then, as she turned around to look at him, already standing at the door, Ellie noticed it. The change in his features, the sorrow and regret in his eyes. “Nick,” she whispered but he could barely look her in the eyes. “What’s wrong?”_

_Nick scratched his head, only this time it didn’t look cute but as if he wasn’t sure how to say what was on his mind. “I – uh. I’m sorry, Ellie – B.”_

_This hurt more than she ever thought it would. The whole weekend after they’d kissed, Nick had called her ‘Ellie’ or ‘El’, even ‘babe’ at one point._

_Something between then and now had changed and she hadn’t seen it coming._

_“I can’t do_ this – _whatever this is. I’m not the relationship guy. I’m not the right guy for a relationship with you – with anyone – and I know you can’t do friends with benefits. You deserve better than me. You deserve someone who-,” then Nick’s voice broke and he could hardly whisper, “who loves you. Unconditionally. I like you – a lot. But I’m still getting used to this whole being on a team thing and Gibbs has rules. I can’t jeopardize my – your –, our jobs for a…fling.”_

_Ellie sucked in breath._ A fling _. Nick thought this was just a fling when Ellie had barely just realised that her feelings went deeper than a simple crush. It felt like a knife thrust in her chest, right through the heart._

_Before he’d walked out of her life, making it look so damn easy, Nick had told her, whispered to her, “I will never forget_ this _. I will never forget_ our _weekend. I want you to be happy – and I know, I couldn’t make you happy. It’s better this way, I’m sorry” and left._

_“So you're gone and I'm haunted_

_And I bet you are just fine_

_Did I make it that easy to walk_

_Right in and out of my life?”_

Ellie shook her head. It had to stop. Nick lived his life without ever blinking, without thinking of her and the damage he’d cause. She couldn’t live her life like this. Reminiscing about the past. About three irrelevant days months ago. About a man who didn’t feel the same. Ellie couldn’t live in the past. She scolded herself over and over again, hoping she’d finally come to her senses. Nick didn’t want her – he didn’t love her.

_“Goodbye, my almost lover_

_Goodbye, my hopeless dream_

_I'm trying not to think about you_

_Why can't you just let me be?”_

Opening the door to Jack’s office, Ellie decided to move on. She’d probably never forget the time they’d spend together – the soft touches between the sheets and their joined laughter – but she had to try. For her own sanity.

_“So long, my luckless romance_

_My back is turned on you_

_Should've known you'd bring me heartache_

_Almost lovers always do”_


End file.
